Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Worst Case Scenario

A week of mostly silence -- no speaking, no singing -- because my voice has gone out.  After a week of silence, liquids, vitamins, and so very many throat lozenges, I took a trip to the doctor.  After a lot of looking and listening, he reported no particular signs of infection (so no tests) and prescribed some pills (steroids and antibiotics) as a sort of "throw everything at it" treatment.  I get a week and if there is no improvement, I go to a specialist to see what's up.

What could be up?  At the worse -- at least in my mind -- would be nodes on my vocal cords.  Now, these can be removed with surgery (and not everyone ends up like Julie Andrews.)

My livelihood does not depend upon my singing voice, but my sanity certainly does.

So I have this particular terrifying thought tucked into a little locked box in my head.  I'm not allowing myself to feel much about it because if I do, I worry I'll go right into the darkness.  So, not thinking about it, not taking it into consideration, not spending time on it.  Not going to mourn something I may not have really lost but just temporarily misplaced.  I have a week to concentrate on the medications, vocal rest, and all the other bits of regimen I've learned from years as a singer.  Stick to right now for right now.

1 comment:

Jammies said...

*hugs* and happy thoughts!