Thursday, January 29, 2009

Recycling

I did this thing on Facebook today because, damn, I'm such a zombie. Might as well post it here, too.

25 random things about me

1. I am a study in contradictions, which (of course) both pleases and frustrates me.

2. I have two birthdays -- a legal one on my birth certificate, and the day I was actually born. I don't know how my mom accomplished this, as neither she nor my dad ever explained. I have both worried about it and taken advantage of it.

3. I've published two short stories now. I am at one time very proud and fairly ashamed (see a pattern here?) of the stories.

4. I love to sing. I loved to sing on stage to people. I don't do it anymore because my voice is severely out of condition and it's easier to be shy than risk not doing it well anymore.

5. I love to travel but I hate leaving the house. I carry this little fear that something awful will happen while I'm not looking.

6. I worry. It gets ridiculous sometimes, but I've had just enough bad things happen out of the blue that I feel justified in it.

7. I'm not really crazy about my long hair, but I've never managed a short hairstyle that didn't require lots of maintenance, annoy me with hair in my face, or make my head look teeny. The pinhead look is not flattering.

8. I've managed to forget most of highschool because most of it was crazed, deeply humiliating, or terribly painful.

9. You could not pay me enough to go back to my 20s, but I'd really like to start at 30 and do-over.

10. I'm sometimes stunned by how scared I've been all my life.

11. I empathize too much with tv and movie characters to enjoy a lot of comedies. 'I Love Lucy' episodes are painful. Most clowns make me want to cry.

12. While I've never actually gone up in flames when exposed to sunlight, I still think it is a possibility.

13. Writing is my passion, but the older I get, the less I find I want to talk to anyone through my writing. Writing for myself no longer has appeal, and others seem not to listen, so I stay silent quite a bit.

14. Nothing is quite so hard for me as to ask for attention and regard. I crave it, and I think I deserve it, but asking for it seems to devalue it.

15. I am sometimes amazed I've been married so long. Sometimes it feels like I've always had this other person as part of my life. I don't think I could live happily any other way.

16. I refuse to outgrow my gamer geek, SF loving, con going ways, but I prefer to take advantage of the adult comforts when I do it (bathing, sleeping, moderate drinking).

17. I really love driving fast, but I'm a damn safe driver.

18. I refused to read Jane Austen for years, thinking it was all Girls School English Major Twin set and Pearls garbage. I am now an Austen addict. I do not own a twin set.

19. The Internet has brought me incredible opportunity and too many wasted hours of distraction.

20. I love gadgets! My e-book, my laptop, my Blackberry, my MP3 player, my laser pointer -- all that stuff thrills me. I also love my fountain and dip ink pens, bottles of ink, thick old fashioned creamy paper, and sealing wax.

21. I've worked hard to overcome my blithering idiot tendencies when meeting someone I admire who is well known. I just can't forget that even though I've spent hours thinking about this person, I am just one of so many, and will be forgotten quickly -- and that feels unfair.

22. I sometimes regret not having children, even though I think I would have been a lousy mom. I feel like I've failed my parents, especially my mom, by not carrying any piece of them forward.

23. While I've never thought myself pretty and certainly was not told I was good looking very often (I was 'smart'), I stil managed to be a life study model for a few years. One artist loved my big hips. I have two pictures for which I modeled.

24. Lindt Cherry-Chili dark chocolate is the most perfect form of chocolate. Spiced orange is second, and dark chocolate marzipan is third.

25. I can't quite imagine anyone finding any of this either surprising or interesting, and yet I don't think I'm all that bad. Conflict and contradiction! I wonder who those voices in my head are!

1 comment:

Death By Children said...

#11. My daughter, 16, still sometimes reacts to sitcom situations with deep sympathy instead of laughing. We watch American Idol and sometimes she has to walk out of the room when an auditioner is obviously horrible and doesn't know it. Hope you liked Vegas! Next time: New Orleans!