Friday, July 11, 2008

I Hate Being an Adult

OK, so I have finished (at last) a basic resume. Damn, but it's both difficult and disheartening to summarize the last 16 years of my working life onto one page in 12 point font. First, my 14 years at Tokyo were spent doing pretty much whatever showed up to be done. I never thought to write down the projects I completed and now I can't remember most of them. The ones I can remember sound so pitifully thin. How can I explain three years of analyzing outside sales activity? How can I, in one bullet point, explain that I had to print out data from an antiquated computer program into which the sales data was entered (but could not be manipulated), determine by hand and highlighter what portions of the data actually applied to the analysis ( actual sales, commissions, credits, and most everything else dumped into the same database, but the program could not select and extract one type of entry from all others), then separate that by salesperson and customer, divide it by product category, and assemble it by month -- all so Bosszilla could figure out which outside salespersons weren't doing diddly and bang them with a stick? And then, how can I explain how much banging I had to do (and begging and threatening) to get sames sales persons to actually report their forecasts to me each year? And how the whole thing eventually led to getting a not-so-antiquated software system so I didn't have to do it anymore (by which time Bosszilla hated all his outside salespeople and didn't want to know anymore)?

Yes, I've worked long and hard on a number of data gathering and analyzing projects that did not produce the information Bosszilla actually hoped to find, and so the project ended up ignored and unused. Oh, I did that a few times. I don't actually want to put that on a resume in quite those words -- "Specializing in data analysis that you will end up not wanting to know."

And there's no way to say in business speak that I looked up racing data, hunted for particular styles of Tommy Bahama shorts, and ordered Amazon online for my employer. Another skill set that I can't market properly. Feh.

Anyway, the resume is done. Now to find someplace to send it.

Also, we are canceling a road trip (no, Jammies, not that road trip. ) My favorite book pusher is doing a show this weekend in Chattanooga, which is about 3 hours from here (because you MUST go through Atlanta. As the crow flies, it's maybe 2 hours. However, as the human drives, if you don't go through Atlanta, it adds 2 hours). It's her birthday and we wanted to spend some time with her. However, we have to have all our crap out of one of the storage units and into another by Monday, plus The Husband has a school project due on Monday. Also, gas is freaking expensive and, as you might surmise, I have no job at the moment.

So, we aren't going anywhere. Maybe to another park for another walk in the woods. It will depend on how much project work The Husband can complete. The short summer semesters are sucking up much time.

I must run errands today -- pick up cat prescriptions, take books to the library, mail things, etc. Then I should vacuum this nasty floor, mop, and *sigh* iron some clothes so that if I DO get an interview, I can show up with only my nature-given wrinkles.

I'm not enjoying my summer vacation.

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