Sunday, May 04, 2008

Still Life With Cardboard

Still unpacking. This could take a while. Those millions of boxes I packed are now all piling up in the garage, awaiting the moment I discover what the hell I packed in them.

The next time I hear someone complain about how Florida is just so flat, I will stick that person in a 4 cylinder van with an overloaded 14 foot trailer and 5 very unhappy cats on I-75 heading north from Wildwood. SOUTH Florida is flat. From Central Florida into Georgia, Florida UNDULATES. Every undulation feels like a freaking hike up Pike's Peak. Undulations cause the trailer to sway when the engine finally makes it near 70 MPH (speed limit on I-75, treated by the average driver as a faintly heard suggestion).

I don't ever want to hear a transmission make those noises again. I made the whole trip in a state of mild hyperventilation.

The "slow traffic keep right/faster traffic pass on the left" rule is also rather sketchy. I pissed off any number of people with my right lane behavior. In fact, I saw all manner of scary driving behavior, including lines of cars doing 80+ nearly touching bumpers. No one seems to remember that little trick about "stopping distance". I also saw an incredible near miss -- big trucks don't always maintain that all important stopping distance, either. This 18 wheeler (a Purple Kensington truck and trailer) skidded to a tire smoking stop behind a late model champagne Caddie. The Cadillac was fishtailing behind what looked like a Mini-Cooper that had apparently experienced a hallucination and pulled a sudden slow down in the left lane. I thought I was about to see bits of car flying around in front of me (I was just a little behind the truck, in the right lane) but the truck driver brought his rig to a halt about a foot behind the Caddie. If he hadn't, I'd have been next in line for creaming, because his trailer would have tipped right over on me.

I kept my distance from then on, struggling up every 2% grade at a slow enough pace that most people didn't try to stay close behind me.

All the cats made it with relatively little trauma. They are enjoying the new views and sticking rather close to us. At this moment a feline lays across my arms, leaving me just enough range of motion to type. None of them are having the slightest problem with stairs, so the proposed cat ramp The Husband and I had planned seems unnecessary. If anything, I need it. My knees, ankles and feet are saying things to me I've never heard before. None of it is complimentary.

We have internet and wireless set up, but the bed is still in pieces and The Padded Rock rests on the floor. Priorities and all, you know.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

Hey, the other night I watched a Simpson's episode where Lisa and Bart had created a cardboard fort, complete with cardboard armor and weapons. It was cool!

They melted it down with water when they were done...