Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Reality Moves

The little 'Under Contract' went up over the For Sale sign yesterday. We told Bosszilla, who did not quite cry, but is bending over backwards to make sure we will still do all his special projects and stuff. We bought a fax machine (on our dime -- he offered, we said no) so he can fax us. It will be just like being there, only without all the fun stories and destroyed buildings.

I am taking down the last pictures, all the decorative items, and most anything that sits on a shelf for hauling northward. We are planning to leave some time on Sunday -- yes, I said "we". I'm going up with The Husband to house hunt and move heavy things. (well, supervise the moving of heavy things.

My head is full of lists. I fall asleep thinking "oh, I need to write that down". I'm sleepy a lot. As much as I love having my husband in the house again, he's also a disruptive force in the careful life I created to deal with his absence. When he's alone and I'm alone, we are both quite tidy. Together, for reasons unexplained, we revert (well, he reverts farther, and I am back trying to pick up after him, when I know perfectly well it takes all my time to pick up after myself.) We will work this conundrum out.

Brand New Life is bearing down upon me. Sometimes I'm excited. Sometimes I'm scared. Sometimes I'm just tired. Sometimes I touch the walls of this house -- my house -- and my eyes well up. I've never lived in one place as long as I've lived here. I'm such a home oriented person that I'm bound to feel some little piece of myself ripping away when we turn over those keys and load that last box. Screaming, crying, laughing, loving...this building has my blood in it (literally) and I feel that echo behind me.

Time to bleed somewhere else.

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