Monday, February 04, 2008

Don't Phone Home

About six years ago, after another tussle with our local phone company concerning things like fees we didn't understand for calls we didn't make, and cutting off our service for paying our bills on time instead of, I dunno, six months in advance, we chucked our phone service and went completely cellular. It wasn't so bad. The only real drawback was that we couldn't easily watch PPV movies (oo noes!) and our home alarm system was no longer monitored.

Now that I'm alone here, we reluctantly reconciled with our local (now renamed because the old name had SUCH A LOT OF HATE) phone company and got the alarm system monitored again. I still use my cell for all my calls and it is the number I give out.

So, why does that land line phone keep ringing?

First, the phone company sold our new number to every telemarketer in the Southeast. We were going as cheap as possible so we didn't get any of the lovely 'extras' like an unlisted number. I'm not even sure what the number is. We wrote it on the plastic cheapie phone we bought with a Sharpie, just in case.

Second, the number apparently had a previous owner with serious credit problems, which is probably why the number is no longer his.

The cheapie phone doesn't have a "bell off" option -- it's cheap -- and I kinda have to keep it on the OFF CHANCE I hit the panic button and the security company misses the note to call my cell. So, I bought a cheapie answering machine for the phone. And I recorded the following message.

This phone number does not accept telemarketing sales or solicitation calls of any kind. Please remove this number from your listings.

I still get the occasional confused person leaving a message (which is how I know about the number's previous owner and his credit problems). Since no one I know and want to talk to (and even some people I don't want to talk to) has the number from me or The Husband, I have no guilt about not answering it, nor do I respond to the messages except by giggling evilly.

I hate phones.

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