I'm here to tell you that Gravity Works.
Our bedroom is rather oddly shaped (like so many rooms in our house -- THANKS 90s era architects!) and Husband made some interesting choices that added to this. This resulted in the area on my side of the bed being a little cramped. My side is also where the bedroom doorway is, which is filled with a folding-style door for space considerations. We have a chair and footstool tucked into the corner there, and The Husband and I have our laptops plugged in on this side as well.
So, yesterday evening, I caught my foot in the tangle of wires and cords and went face first into the edge of the open door with mostly predictable results. I managed to NOT damage either computer, but my left knee and the entire right side of my face are both bruised and impressively swollen. I managed to get a nice cut UNDER my chin, and I likely have some whiplash. I even banged a boob.
I feel like I slept in a rolling cement mixer. Apparently, I don't fall as well as I used to.
The door was also removed from the doorframe during this little exercise in Newtonian physics. The Husband thinks that's one thing he can fix. For everything else, there is Aleve and ice and mashed potatoes. I also got ice cream out of the deal.
No, I am not posting pictures. You will have to imagine the goose egg on my forehead, my puffy jaw and lips, the slightly over-round shape of my cheek, and the assorted other bruises on various body parts. I might even get a black eye out of this. The Husband was close to tears when he first saw me, collapsed on the bed whimpering softly when he got home from yoga class. I've gone from sorta kinda pretty to really, really pathetic.
At least I got ice cream. I can probably milk this for a day or two. I mean, seriously, what's the point in banging the crap out of one's self if one cannot get on-demand sympathy ice cream?