Monday, February 21, 2005

I talk to the cats, the cats do not hear....

Not only do I talk to my cats, but I have semantical, rhetorical and philosophical discussions with them. For instance...

There is a "No Kitties on the Dining Room Table" rule, with a codicile of "When She Who Must Be Circumvented Is Home". In general, they abide, and when they don't, a sharp word and a casual wave of the water spray bottle suffices. That is, until now. NOW they are looking for loopholes.

Last week I got stuff from Amazon and left the open, empty box on the dining room table. I walk in later to find Bea -- the cute, fuzzy-baby cat -- in the box. I yelled her name in the special "WTF are you DOING?" voice that usually sends her skittering high speed in a random direction.

She casually glanced over her shoulder at me.

Bea:"What?"
Me: "You are on the TABLE!"
Bea:"I'm in a box. "
Me: "YOU are on the TABLE!"
Bea:"I'm in a box. I am allowed in boxes. I have a RIGHT to be in a box."
Me: "YOU ARE ON THE TABLE."
Bea:"I am in a BOX. Do you not see me in the box? I am cute in a box."
Me: "The BOX is on the table, therefore YOU are on the table."
Bea:"No, the BOX is on the table and I am IN THE BOX."

At which time I dumped both her and the box off the table.

So, no, you need never fear I will ridicule you for talking to your cat...even if you lose the arguement...

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