Actual E-mail conversation
ASW: Oh- did I tell you about the online baseball league I am in? XXXX runs it thru his site: I am the Sgt Grump you'll see mentioned occasionally on his blog. Our league is set in Middle Earth; I am the Owner/GM of the Bree Cheese.
Me: You are and remain one of the incredibly normal weirdest people I know
ASW: OK- what do you want? Why are you flattering me?
Me: For the purpose of making you paranoid. It entertains me.
ASW: You always were cruel to me.
Me: Well being nice to you always made you paranoid, so I gave up on it.
ASW: Just when were you ever nice to me? I met you at Chi-Chi's hoping to get laid. Not only didn't I get laid, but you took over control of my life. I was trapped! Jeesh.
Me: I bought you that train chamber pot for Christmas.
ASW: As a constant reminder that Life is Shit. :-p
Me: And this conflicts with your personal philosophy how?
ASW: It doesn't.